Mifflevan Reaches the Summit

"This sucks," Mifflevan the warlock muttered to himself while dressing his wounds from a battle. The remains of a two-headed monster (originally three-headed, but Mifflevan had changed that) oozed a sludgy ichor from one of several perforations Mifflevan had introduced to its body.

"Tell me about it," said Gakmir, Mifflevan's imp minion. "He stinks! And he's getting blood all over my feet. At least you've got shoes on! I have to go around virtually naked in the snow!"

"Hush, you," said Mifflevan irritably. "And let me concentrate. I'm supposed to collect these things' horns and your last fireball singed it."

"Oh, like that's my fault?" yipped Gakmir. "The thing was throwing huge bloody boulders at you and I blasted him in the back with a fireball like you told me to and he dropped it on his head. You want me to do your dirty work for you politely now?"

The horn Mifflevan had been worrying at broke in two and crumbled into dust. "Shut up!" Mifflevan snapped. But Gakmir was on a roll and could not be stopped. He pantomimed tapping an imaginary opponent on the shoulder.

"Frightfully sorry, my dear chap," Gakmir drawled, "But my master over there has asked me to kill you. Do be a good sport and try not to crack your horn when the force of gravity causes your severed head to fall on the ground. Thanks, Guv'nor."

Mifflevan sulked and drank a mana potion. The liquid tasted like chalk and made him retch. He threw the empty flask at Gakmir, who phase shifted and rudely extended a knobby digit. Fortunately, the phase shift made his speech inaudible. The two turned and watched as the flask hurtled downhill and shattered on the head of a passing three-headed monster.

"Ouch," said the monster, looking up the hill and observing the scruffy warlock and his obscene familiar. "Why don't you idiots be more careful?"

Mifflevan did not speak Monsterese, so all he saw was a hell of a lot of teeth and heard something that sounded like a warthog attempting to gargle with a chainsaw. He did not interpret the sounds as friendly. He noted a gleaming horn on the middle of the monster's three heads and elected not to waste time in diplomacy.

"Sic 'em!" he yelled at Gakmir, who was in the process of mooning the monster. "And watch out for that horn!"

Mifflevan made a series of complex hand gestures that resulted in seriously offending the right-most of the three heads. An arm raised a small boulder and threw it at Mifflevan. The warlock ignored the rock as it sailed to the right and returned fire--literally--with a cone of purple flames that shot from his palm.

When the flames cleared the monster's eyebrows smoked. The right and middle heads concentrated on Mifflevan while the left head scanned the ground for likely boulders to hurl. Mifflevan launched an assault of verbal abuse. Despite the language barrier, the monster was clearly offended and distressed. The right head fainted, throwing off the monster's balance.

It was then that Gakmir's fireball hit the monster. The imp had sidled around behind him and launched a basketball-sized ball of flame that hit the monster square between the shoulderblades. The middle and left heads clonked together. Mifflevan observed the eyes of the right head dilate, roll back and close. The monster's body swayed and fell backwards, snuffing out most of the flames. Mifflevan beat out the rest of the flames with a large stick, being careful not to mar the horn, still intact, on the middle head.

Satisfied that the monster was sufficiently dead for his purposes, and that touching its carcass would not ignite himself, Mifflevan removed the horn. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed.

"You're welcome!" said Gakmir. "What's that? Oh, you didn't thank me, did you? What a shocker there! Bails your butt out again and not even a 'nice shot, Gakmir!' or a pat on the back."

"You want a pat on the back?" rasped Mifflevan. "Come here, I'll give you better than that."

"Umm ... no. I think I'm good for now. I can tell you're happy and that's all the thanks I need!" Gakmir backed away uneasily.

"Good," said Mifflevan. "Now bugger off. I need to give this here horn to that guy on the hill."

Gakmir grumbled an unkind goodbye and vanished in a puff of greasy smoke. Mifflevan commenced the summoning spell to produce his dreadsteed.

"Heigh ho, Mittens!" he yelled, feeling stupid. "Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It's off to ride we go! Heigh ho, heigh ho! Heigh ho, heigh ho! Heigh ho! Heigh ho Heigh ho Heigh ho!"

Mittens the dreadsteed appeared. As usual he smelled like a sulfurous barnyard. Mifflevan produced a greyish lump of sugar from the depths of a pocket for the animal and climbed onto his back. The two shambled off in the direction of the foul-mouthed gnome in the miserable hut on the bleak hillside who had set Mifflevan on the quest to collect three-headed monster horns.

Hours later, Mifflevan watched with increduality as the gnome used the end of the horn to pick tea leaves from his teeth. "Thanks, Mate!" he chirped happily. "Nothing worse than having something stuck in your teeth. Know what I mean?"

"I can think of worse things," Mifflevan said. "Like getting stomped on by an angry monster upset that you're cutting his horn off to use as a goddam toothpick!"

"Oh relax," said the gnome placatingly. "Horns like these have a thousand uses. Now then, as I promised, you bring me the horn and I'll do something for you. You've earned it."

As he spoke the clouds cleared and the sun shone brilliantly. The air grew warm and pleasant. Flowers Mifflevan was sure were not there previously had appeared all over. The trees stood up straighter and their leaves grew brighter and greener. The gnome's annoying cat purred and rubbed up against Mifflevan's leg. Mifflevan was preparing to kick it into the fire (which he noted was now blazing cheerfully) when he was distracted by a sound.

The sound came from nowhere and everywhere at once. It rose from the ground, fell from the sky and gushed out from every pore in his body. It suffused his being with a golden light and cascaded through his soul.

"DING!" said the sound.

"Thank you, Mr. Gnome," said Mifflevan. "That will do nicely." So saying, he again mounted Mittens and the two were last seen galloping generally Southwards to where warmer climates where sandy beaches and rum-flavored drinks are rumored to naturally occur.

Here endeth Mifflevan's quest to level 80.

EINHERJAR GUILD CHARTER

Important

This guild charter should be read and understood by all members. If there are any questions, they should be directed to an officer or the guild master. This charter is binding & must be heeded with no exceptions.

Mission Statement

The Einherjar is a casual World of Warcraft guild on the Nordrassil server. We are primarily an adult guild which is built on the basis of having fun, forging strong friendships and camaraderie through communication and questing together. We have an open door policy in this guild. If it is your wish to stay in this guild only until your character reaches a certain level, you are free to do that and we wish you all the best with your future endeavors. Please note we are NOT a raiding guild.

Code of Conduct

- Treat everyone with respect regardless of whether they are in the guild or not. Remember you represent our guild!

- Offensive, rude, sexist, obscene, racist & insulting language towards anyone is not permitted.

- We want you to have fun but please be considerate of the younger members of our guild and tailor your language accordingly. When in doubt of the age of guildies, err on the side of caution and courtesy.

- The aim is to foster a positive environment within the guild. As such, all players regardless of age should conduct themselves in a mature manner.

- Although we try to avoid profanity in guild chat, we understand that it sometimes happens; however, such profanity should never be directed at another player.

- If you indulge in hate or hate speech we don’t want/need you in The Einherjar.

- Guildies should ONLY withdraw items from the bank that are appropriate for their current level. Withdrawing items for the sole purpose of selling to vendors or at the Auction House is NOT permitted. Withdrawing for alts WITHIN the guild is allowed but please be reasonable about this. Higher level green items and blue, purple etc. items will be placed in the officer's tab. See an officer or the GM to request items that you need.

- Should you violate this charter, an officer or guild master will discuss the matter with you privately and give you a warning. If you repeat this behavior, you will be removed from the guild.

Application Process- If interested, please whisper Elvwyr in game or send in game mail and she will arrange an interview.

The time has come....

Hello Everyone....

The time has come for me to step down as your (non existent) Guild Master. I will give the reigns to the very capable hands of Elvwyr, who has been doing the job unselfishly for way too long now, without the title and without the appreciation she, without a doubt, deserves.

Elv has been a great friend to me for as long as she has been a cherished member of Girls Gone Wild. For those who do not know the past of our guild, Girls Gone Wild was our original Guild that I and one other created a very long time ago. As many of you may know, running a guild can be a full time job, one with bumps in the road that not many can handle or even care to deal with. Our guild was no exception. Having been through 2 names and several co-GMs, it was Elv who ultimately kept things moving along for all of you over these last several months.

Because of the history that I have with Girls Gone Wild then later The Einherjar, this decision does not come easily for me. It has weighed heavily on my mind and in my heart for some time now. As things tend to do in life, people change, ideas change and life happens. Many positive things have come into my life recently, both in real life and in game. My final decision comes, in part, from a few of these things. My focus has changed. I am not quitting the game. I love WoW and the folks I've met there too much to walk away. Rather, I am moving on to other things in game that take up more time that I thought they would have. Hellsbabe and Luulu will retire indefinately. For months, I've followed my new path while allowing Elv to deal with the hard work of taking care of my guild. This was incredible selfish of me and unfair to her. This stops now. I'd spent many months in the early days, grinding gold and gear to stock the guild bank, all the while forging friendships with a lot of you, but none of that hard work compares to the time and passion that Elv has put forth most recently. I will walk away with nothing other than the friendships. You have all shown me kindness and understanding. I truly hope that you show Elv the same, as she will be a far better GM for you than I have been of late.

I will miss all of you greatly, but know that I am still here, still there, whenever any of you need my help or just want to chat. I created Chatterbox just for this reason. This chat channel can stay as is, any who wish to join and chat are welcome.

I bid my farewell, best wishes and good luck to all of you and your future endeavors, both in real life and in game.

Elv, thank you for your unwaivering friendship and hard work for me and for this guild as a whole. I am grateful for having met you and hope that we will continue to keep in touch. I am here for you if you need me.

All the best,

Feona (aka Hellsbabe) Mysteria, Luulu

Strat Run

We had fun last night killing undead in strat. We did very well against the 1st half of the instance. We are going to have to finish the last half. Good treasure and good friends. How about another run on the weekend. I am up for it any time.

Aylania.

Sorry

Folks i have had enugh my health is not all that great right now, and i am tiered of blizz messing me around. I have moved the remaining toons an i am giveing my account to a friend, if anyone wispers you pretending to be me dont belive them. Elv (Sis) i am truely sorry i couldnt tell you any other way but here, you have been a good no a great friend to me i will forever be in ur debet you have helped me hold on but i think its time for me to go home. With all my hart an all my Soul I LOVE YOU guys an wish yall the best of luck. /smile one time for me

Death Knight

Kinda wondering what race will you chose for your Death Knight. will you wait till your main is level 80 or will you just go almost streight in to a Death Knight. For me i will look around Northrend for a day or so then i will make my Death Knight. I am still undecided as to weather or not he will be Alli or Horde.

Being Friendly

Hey folks kinda new at this sort of thing so ill mostly be reading an responding, but i am here an i will be seeing whats going on in everyones world so to speak so dont talk about me to bad, lol jk see you guys in the game hit me up for help if ya need it..... Also Sis i know you got this started more then likely -Good Job